Stay true to the dreams of thy youth

From Patrol:

Surely you've all heard by now that Sufjan Stevens has released a new EP online. This is exciting news for Sufjan fans everywhere, but I would urge you to think twice before paying the 5 dollars to download the music. It was not even 10 years ago when Islamic radical extremists destroyed the World Trade Center on September 11th, and already we're going to support a man named "Sufjan" as if nothing happened on that tragic day?

It may sound like a good idea at first. Many believe that supporting this man's music will help heal the wounds left by the terrorists, but come on people, we do not live in a vacuum. The fact of the matter is that this album should be released under another name, something with less Islamic connotation than "Sufjan." Or, the album should be released in a different format. EP also brings to mind other Islamic names. Ep Shiraa. Ep Sadaar. It just hits a little too close to home.

Think of the families who suffered and lost their loved ones in that tragedy. Out of sensitivity towards them, refrain from supporting this so-called Stevens. And be warned, some sources have indicated that Sufjan's middle name is Usama. Sufjan Usama Stevens? Doesn't sound like the kind of artist I want singing our national anthem before a baseball game.

Many of you may be asking, "but is Sufjan a terrorist?" The facts here are foggier than we should be comfortable with. First of all, he has never outright condemned Hamas. Should we support someone who isn't clear in his separation from terrorism?

And many of us have heard that Sufjan is actually a Christian. Well to that point, where is his birth certificate?

Look at the last two tracks on All Delighted People, Arnika and Djohariah. Does anybody know what those words mean? I don't, but I'm not sure if I want to find out.

It's too soon, Sufjan. Even if you and your album have no connection at all to terrorism, your name reminds of Muslims, which in turn reminds of 9/11. So please, for the sake of the families still having nightmares about towelheads riding camels into their homes and stabbing their children with those big curved swords from the movie Aladdin (by the way, Sufjan's name actually means "comes with a sword." Coincidence?), please, change your plans and release your album somewhere else.

As a New Yorker, you'd think Sufjan wouldn't be acting in such poor taste on this issue. He lives in Brooklyn, practically two blocks away from Ground Zero! Is he even an American? Was this 50 States project all a huge cover-up for his Islamic plan to take over the music industry and lull us all into submission with his indie-folk-pop harmonies and "beautiful" melodies.

And if I can speak to Sufjan directly for just a moment. Mr. Stevens, have some tact! If you really love your fellow New Yorkers, you'll change your name. Sure you have a constitutional right to whatever name you want, but this issue goes deeper than political freedoms. This is an issue of the heart, and with the release of this album your heart seems to say "This is an issue of freedom, not misguidedly ignorant and possibly racist emotions." And to that I say, boo. Boo to you, Sufjan.

We had to kick a different folk-singer "Stevens" out of the country, and if Sufjan doesn't change his tune, he'll be joining Cat Stevens with Uncle Sam's boot print on his ass. Take your Islamic propaganda somewhere else, YuSuf.