Stay true to the dreams of thy youth

From Patrol:

Surely you've all heard by now that Sufjan Stevens has released a new EP online. This is exciting news for Sufjan fans everywhere, but I would urge you to think twice before paying the 5 dollars to download the music. It was not even 10 years ago when Islamic radical extremists destroyed the World Trade Center on September 11th, and already we're going to support a man named "Sufjan" as if nothing happened on that tragic day?

It may sound like a good idea at first. Many believe that supporting this man's music will help heal the wounds left by the terrorists, but come on people, we do not live in a vacuum. The fact of the matter is that this album should be released under another name, something with less Islamic connotation than "Sufjan." Or, the album should be released in a different format. EP also brings to mind other Islamic names. Ep Shiraa. Ep Sadaar. It just hits a little too close to home.

Think of the families who suffered and lost their loved ones in that tragedy. Out of sensitivity towards them, refrain from supporting this so-called Stevens. And be warned, some sources have indicated that Sufjan's middle name is Usama. Sufjan Usama Stevens? Doesn't sound like the kind of artist I want singing our national anthem before a baseball game.

Many of you may be asking, "but is Sufjan a terrorist?" The facts here are foggier than we should be comfortable with. First of all, he has never outright condemned Hamas. Should we support someone who isn't clear in his separation from terrorism?

And many of us have heard that Sufjan is actually a Christian. Well to that point, where is his birth certificate?

Look at the last two tracks on All Delighted People, Arnika and Djohariah. Does anybody know what those words mean? I don't, but I'm not sure if I want to find out.

It's too soon, Sufjan. Even if you and your album have no connection at all to terrorism, your name reminds of Muslims, which in turn reminds of 9/11. So please, for the sake of the families still having nightmares about towelheads riding camels into their homes and stabbing their children with those big curved swords from the movie Aladdin (by the way, Sufjan's name actually means "comes with a sword." Coincidence?), please, change your plans and release your album somewhere else.

As a New Yorker, you'd think Sufjan wouldn't be acting in such poor taste on this issue. He lives in Brooklyn, practically two blocks away from Ground Zero! Is he even an American? Was this 50 States project all a huge cover-up for his Islamic plan to take over the music industry and lull us all into submission with his indie-folk-pop harmonies and "beautiful" melodies.

And if I can speak to Sufjan directly for just a moment. Mr. Stevens, have some tact! If you really love your fellow New Yorkers, you'll change your name. Sure you have a constitutional right to whatever name you want, but this issue goes deeper than political freedoms. This is an issue of the heart, and with the release of this album your heart seems to say "This is an issue of freedom, not misguidedly ignorant and possibly racist emotions." And to that I say, boo. Boo to you, Sufjan.

We had to kick a different folk-singer "Stevens" out of the country, and if Sufjan doesn't change his tune, he'll be joining Cat Stevens with Uncle Sam's boot print on his ass. Take your Islamic propaganda somewhere else, YuSuf.

• Henry Siegman: Is Israel's Legitimacy Under Challenge?

  "There is therefore something bizarre in Israel's insistence that condemnations of its violations of international law are not intended to challenge the illegality of its settlements and continuing occupation but the legitimacy of its very existence. If Israel keeps it up, that insistence may well turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps Israel's right wing government believes that by accusing the international community of seeking to undermine its existence it will distract attention from an increasingly untenable claim that Israel is a model democracy that also enshrines Jewish values. Both claims have been undermined by its settlements policy and its determination to maintain the status quo, bringing into question the very foundation of America's "special relationship" with Israel."

• Work on 3rd Metro line causes sinkhole in Attaba | Al-Masry Al-Youm: Today's News from Egypt

  "A new digging machine--dubbed the "Nefertari"--has caused a 5-centimeter deep, 2.25-meter long sinkhole on al-Geish Street in the downtown Cairo district of Attaba. The machine had been in the process of digging a tunnel for Cairo's third subway line."

• Chris Christie warns GOP on mosque - Maggie Haberman - POLITICO.com

  **Finally, one (relatively) sane Republican** "New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, a new national icon for the Republican Party thanks in part to his push for pension reforms, on Monday became the most prominent GOP figure to warn against "overreacting" to the threat of terror and painting "all of Islam" with the brush of terrorism amid the swirling controversy about the ground zero-area mosque. "

• Palin: Obama 'doesn't get' mosque - Andy Barr - POLITICO.com

  **No, Palin doesn't get it. She's a bigot** "“It sounds cliched to say that the president is disconnected from the American people on this issue, but how else do you describe it,” the former Alaska GOP governor said on Fox News. “He just doesn't get it, that this is an insensitive move on the part of those Muslims who want to build that mosque in this location. It feels like a stab in the heart to, collectively, Americans who still have that lingering pain from 9/11.” "

Sarah Palin's Playground
If only all political issues were debated in the language of childhood.
By Hart Seely

Sarah Palin scored points Wednesday at a Minnesota fundraiser for Rep. Michele Bachmann when she framed her view of President Obama's nuclear arms reduction deal with Russia in "common sense" terms: "You know, that's kind of like getting out there on the playground, a bunch of kids ready to fight, and one of the kids saying, 'Go ahead, punch me in the face, and I'm not going to retaliate. Go ahead, and do what you want to with me!' No, it is unacceptable." In this era of unintelligible, lawyerly doubletalk, Palin's refreshing use of childhood imagery could launch a breakthrough in political discourse. Imagine how it might work with other issues.

On the war in Iraq
"You're wrestling Molly behind the bus garage, and you finally got her into a headlock so you can wail on her, but somebody ran off and told the principal, and now, old man Biden is coming to break it up. You'll both get put on detention, and it won't be over with Molly, because you'll have to fight her on the walk home tonight, so you're thinking, 'If I can put some good gouges onto Molly's pretty little face, she won't want to tangle with me again! Don't bind my hands, Biden! Molly needs to learn her lesson!' "

On immigration
"You're holding a birthday party, and Maria Rodriguez is not invited—but not because she's Spanish or anything. Anyway, you're trying to keep it hush-hush, so Maria doesn't find out. Unfortunately, the teacher's pet, Barack Obama, gets up in class and says, 'Who-all is going to Sarah's party? Let's carpool so our mommies can save on gas!' So now, everybody knows, and Maria not only will come, but she'll bring her relatives, and there won't be enough cake, and your birthday will be ruined."

On protecting wilderness areas
"You're wearing your favorite jacket, when the richest kid in school, Kennedy, comes up and says, 'That coat is so nice, everybody should enjoy it. Give it to me, so I can hang it on the flag pole, so we all can see it.' And you go, 'No way, it's my jacket, and I want to wear it.' And he goes, 'It's too nice for just you. Besides, the Earth is heating up, so you don't need a jacket anyway!' Then, he takes your jacket and doesn't even put it on the flag pole, but he and his coat-hugger pals run around the school, wearing it."

On the banking bailout
"In the lunch line, the fattest kid in school asks for your ice cream cup. Now, you're willing to give him your green beans or mashed potatoes, but not the ice cream. So he says, 'If I can't have your ice cream, I'll fake a heart attack, they'll close the cafeteria, and nobody will get their ice cream cups.' So you give him your ice cream cup. Later, when Principal Summers finds out, he says, 'You should be ashamed of yourself, giving Fatty your ice cream! Because of you, he's fat.' As punishment, nobody gets ice cream, except Fatty, because he moved to another school, where he's pulling the same deal."

On unemployment
"You and Molly have nothing to do and want to go to mall. So you go to your mom, who's sitting around feeling sorry for herself, watching TV, because she doesn't have a job, and you go, 'Hey, Mom, we need a ride to the mall!' But she can't leave the house, because she's waiting for a phone call from Barack Obama, who is supposed to call any minute, offering her a job. But the phone never rings, because Barack Obama is talking about health care, so nobody goes to the mall, and it closes."

On universal health care
"You've got a tough math test coming up, so you tell your mom your head hurts and you need to stay home. But you don't get to skip classes and hook up with your boyfriend after hockey practice, because the school nurse comes to your house and spends the whole day taking your temperature and asking you trick questions. You end up having to lie in bed and study math, it costs the school so much money that they cut hockey, and then you find out you're pregnant!"

Become a fan of Slate on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.
Hart Seely is the author of Mrs. Goose Goes to Washington: Nursery Rhymes for the Political Barnyard.

I realize this is shameless and unfair to everyone... but I couldn't resist. A Canadian showed me this video today...